Archive | City of Fools and Knaves RSS feed for this section

Some Hull stuff

17 Sep

The Prospect Centre is having some work done on the lift and to protect Joe Public boards have been erected and to hide or brighten up these boards these decorative Hull based adornments have been added. So clockwise from the top right: Amy Johnson seeming to leap from England to Australia; a footballing tiger representing the local football club, Hull City aka the Tigers (though this year I’m told they are playing like pussy cats), a fisherman with what appear to be laughing cod (clearly a Mickey take of the Hessle Road mural), and finally a not very convincing and somewhat puzzled Philip Larking (as the Daily Mail recently called him) with a toothy toad. There’s another panel that I couldn’t photograph (on account of there being a stall in the way) with rugby players on it but I reckon you can have too much of a good thing.
There are more Monday murals here.
Advertisements

Squee!

13 Sep

You know how I like the Council and greatly admire the wisdom of  its ways. Well this week I learnt that in order to minimise disruption caused by long overdue roadworks the Council have wisely chosen not to do this work at weekends and at night but rather on Monday through Friday from half sevenish in the morning until six thirty in the evening. This has, quite fortuitously, caused some truly beautiful tailbacks and gridlocks; reports of three minute journeys taking an hour and all those marvellous delays and hold ups that make life in this beautiful city so bearable and make me love Hull City Council more and more each day. And as there are to be five more weeks of this I feel like giving them a big kiss! Mwah! Mwah!

Kickabout on Jameson Street

2 Sep

Ah the wonderful game inspires all sorts to demonstrate their ball skills (or lack of them) in the oddest places. Somehow I don’t think this guy is going to picked up for millions of pounds by some premier league team.

Suffer the little children

4 Jul

So now there are eight reflection pools (at great expense)  in the space outside Holy Trinity Church now known as Hull Minster (which has more resonance?). Anyhow these are supposed to give people a “chance to reflect on their busy lives and their place in God’s world”. We could reflect that this space was used as a weekly market place but Hull Council decided against such a vernacular use and it has stood empty for twenty or more years. Yeah, well whatever: the people of Hull are now left with eight square puddles that refill every now and then and not surprisingly those who like that kind of thing like that kind of thing.

Two Circles of Hull

1 Jun

So the promised fountains are in business. And instantly turned into some kind of amusement feature for screaming children to put on their cossies and splash around in the jets of foul smelling over chlorinated water. Cue jokes about the great unwashed of Hessle Road or East Hull (take your choice) getting their annual wash… Someday perhaps the novelty of these fountains will wear off but until then Queen Victoria Square, the centre of town, has been turned into a stinking nauseous pit of hell.

Tell me the old, old story

22 May
Tell me the old, old story,
  Of unseen things above,
Of Jeremy and His glory,
  Of Labour and Its love
Tell me the story simply,
  As to a little child,
For I am weak and weary,
  And helpless and defiled.

Tell me the same old story,
Sell me the same old view,
Tell me the stale old story,
 For the many not the few.

Over in east Hull the Labour Party treats its constituents like infants who should always keep a-hold of Nurse, for fear of finding something worse. And yet in east Hull and some other Labour places they seem to lap it up. I went to see Jeremy Corbyn at a meeting in town on Monday evening in Zebedee’s yard. I say I went but I did not stay and did not get to see the would be Prime Minister and hero of the working man. Zeb’s Yard is a horrible cramped place, totally unsuitable for a meeting. The goofy bearded loon or Great Leader of The Most Advanced & Unified Labour Party turned up half an hour late according the paper and still the large mass of deluded fools, sorry that should read devoted believers, comrades and acolytes, hung around for yet another thirty minutes before no doubt he incanted the ritual benediction: “For the many not the few”. Verily J C makes them whole.

Mrs May (“strong and stable”) in the poster is shown with Mrs Thatcher’s hair style. That’s just so original, so subtle! She is being a total mean bitch; taking dinners from hungry school kids and telling pensioners they’ll have to pay for their care out of the forced sale of their homes (neatly and rightly labelled a dementia tax) and wants to bring back fox hunting, in short saying the kind of nasty things you only say if you know you can’t lose and she won’t. When pressed she crumbles and stutters and seems to back track; she and the rest of this government are clearly not up to the job of leading anything but nevertheless she’ll win by a country mile. You see for the rest of the country the idea of Jeremy Corbyn as PM brings out that old fear of finding something worse…
My apologies to Katherine Hankey.  

Are you aware of Hull?

20 May

Does a creeping, cold sensation grab you by the sensitive parts as you gradually realise that you are being seized with the gruesome realisation that you are ‘aware of Hull: UK City of Culture’? Fear not; you are not alone. According to the tiny Leader, some 53% of people have struggled to cope with this awareness problem, with even more suffering in the badlands of the “North”. There is only one cure but it is drastic and may be fatal. Go, get you to the godforsaken hole and disabuse yourself of all that nonsense, once and for all. Then let us never mention it again…