Archive | January, 2017

The best seat in town

31 Jan

Tourists are flocking to see the latest city of culture installation on Trinity House Lane. The work, sponsored by a local public house, is constantly added to and occasionally subtracted from but will remain a feature in the city through out the year. I think it’s a strong statement of the conflict between high ideals and base reality. I highly recommend it.

Hull says NO! So Trump Won’t Go!

30 Jan

Here in the dark of a January evening a collection of banner wavers, delusional socialist wannabes, imps, pimps, banjo players and just plain old fashioned passers-by have collected in Queen Victoria Square to demand that SOMETHING MUST BE DONE about that awful Mr Trump and his evil acts.  There was lots talk of building a socialist alternative and fighting American Imperialism all drawing the appropriate Pavlovian applause response. I hear he keeps a close ear to the ground and worries so much about how well he’s doing down on Hessle Road and the Avenues, so this grand demo will greatly irritate his ulcers and boil his piss I’ve no doubt.
Seriously though Mr Trump  the duly (and newly) elected head of state of a foreign country is getting up everyone’s nose at the moment He might be doing something right then, but it’s not my circus and not my monkey as they say these days. But it not just American noses, no sir, well it wouldn’t be would it? The self-proclaimed liberal luvvies have got to show themselves as “doing” stuff so they hold these little demos sprouting up over the country, all utterly meaningless and just an excuse for the same old tired inane claptrap to be spouted forth. But the irrelevancy doesn’t stop at few demos; oh no.  There’s currently a petition to Parliament  (that’s the UK Parliament by the way just in case, like me, you were wondering what the hell it has got to do with us) with over 1.5 million signatures saying Mr Trump should not be allowed to meet the Queen! Ye Gods! I would have thought that making him meet that wizened old brood mare was a suitable punishment for anyone but no, he must not shake hands (or anything else) with Queenie or the world will end or some such nonsense. Now as this pathetic little country is seeking a trade deal with the good old evil US of A what chance do you think that petition has, hmmm? I expect Brenda will be told to get her knee pads out, moisten her royal lips and grin and bear it.

Surplus to Requirements

25 Jan

The natives are getting restless in deepest, darkest Cottingham. The local council, not Hull, for once, but the East Riding of Yorkshire Council, hereinafter known as ERYC, has decided that the Civic Hall in Cottingham is “surplus to requirements” and want to sell it off to whoever. That phrase ‘surplus to requirements’ clearly came from a soulless, heartless accountant and not something with a brain between its ears. Needless to say this has not gone down well with all the hundreds of people who use it for exercise groups, plays, community activities of all descriptions; real people to whom it is essential.  So plans are afoot to take over the place locally with a trust to manage the running of the place. Hopefully ERYC will see sense  and stop acting like ideological ass holes and remember there are elections coming up sooner or later when perhaps they’ll find that they, too,  have become surplus to requirements.

The Erstwhile Bank

24 Jan

In what estate agents might call a prime location on the junction of Hallgate and King Street here is the building formerly known as HSBC. If this does not become a trendy wine bar and/or  restaurant in the next few months I’ll be very surprised. It seems the big boys are closing branches up and down the country. HSBC are closing two branches in town including the Whitefriargate one. While Cottingham still has three other banks that folks can use some villages and even small towns have no banks at all which I imagine is a right pain if you’re a pensioner with limited mobility and no understanding the web or if you’re trying to run a shop and run out of change. 

The Quality Street Lights

23 Jan

So here’s some old flats on Porter Street all lit up as an arts project called “I Wish To Communicate With You” for some reason that escapes me. Puts me in mind of those coloured cellophane wrappers that came (probably still do for all I know) with Quality Street chocolates. Obviously it’s all to do with that damn culture thing. The pictures I’ve seen of it, including this one, really don’t do it any justice, it’s much more impressive in real life, though hardly a stunningly original piece.

The Ideal

22 Jan

This place on Midland Street seems to be hanging on despite the demolition of the nearby Albert Hall. It’s both a driving school and a printers, odd combination but that’s how it is.

The Vacuous Nonsense

20 Jan

As part of the cultural bonanza currently being spread like field manure, hither and yon, several advertising hoardings around town are to be taken over for what is termed Art. Now I know art is not meant to mean anything so this is clearly qualifies as art, a house, a car like thing and Rudolph the reindeer suddenly discovering who has been sworn in as 45th president of the US of A. A whole year of this fap crap, oh how wonderful!